Seriously Bro, Thelema’s Just Another Form of Christianity!

Some days you encounter stupid on the internet, and other days you deal with straight-up retarded!

Case in point, this week in the Church of Ophiel group on Facebook, one of the members (Naomi, a wonderful woman) asks whether it’s a sin if one acts in ignorance. She asks a very fair question, and comments give answers running the gamut from Catholicism, Orthodoxy, Protestantism, and everything in between.

So far, so good. Until one person calling himself “Frater” followed by some Latin that could only come from Google Translate, posts: “The word of sin is restriction.” After which, he receives questions and expounds on Thelema in the replies to his comment.

Thus far, whatever. First Amendment and all that. Until Frater Abdiel (whom I’ve mentioned in the post about St. Uriel) points out the group’s rules to him. Sadly the entire exchange was deleted before I could make a screencap, so I’m doing this from memory.

Frater Abdiel: “This group’s rules state it’s a Christian group, and Thelema is off-topic.”

Frater Google Translate: “Thelema is derived from the Golden Dawn. The GD is Rosicrucianism. Rosicrucianism is esoteric Christianity. Therefore Thelema is Christianity.”

My first reaction was WHAT. THE. EVER. LIVING. F*CK.

And then I started laughing. This is one of the most ridiculous claims I’ve ever heard!

Why Is This Claim Ridiculous?

Well, I’m glad you asked!

Oh, wait a minute. You didn’t ask? Well that’s too bad, because I’m about to tell you anyway! Continue reading

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NEW CLASS: Real Candle Magic for Devout Catholics

The wait is over, a new class is here! Watch the video above for a preview of the first five minutes!

In this class, Agostino discusses the fundamentals of Candle Magic as he’s gotten it to work for him, explaining the types of candles, methods for using them, the psychological versus spiritual models of magic, and how candle magic principles are present in secular society as well as the Catholic religion. Continue reading

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Blood, Fear, and Pain: Tenth Anniversary Edition


Today is the 10-year anniversary of one of my two greatest magical works ever. A work that took its origin in blood, pain, and fear, and ultimately manifested one of the basis-points for my current life.

Yep, I’m talking about the head-on car accident that happened on Mother’s Day of 2009, when some 17-year old out of Bexley smashed right into me with her daddy’s SUV.

My poor, ancient Chevy took that pounding, and by all rights I should be a dead man. Yet by some miracle, the back of my seat broke and sent me flying to the back of the van, out of St. Azrael’s grasp. Continue reading

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Theurgic Affirmations for the Joyous Mysteries

Our Lady with Rosary

About two years ago, I made a passing mention of the “Theurgic Rosary” but never elaborated on it. Probably because the process is so simple, it didn’t seem to need further mention.

You may have figured out that I’m a fan of “Hiding in Plain Sight,” as Fr. Theophilos discussed in his review for My New Everyday Prayer Book, and the Theurgic Rosary is no exception. In fact, you can do this during group recitation in the middle of a crowded church, and no-one will be the wiser. Continue reading

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90s Occult Commercials: The Holy Angel Oracle and the Scriptures of Angel Magic

Angel Magic 1

Front Cover

Awhile back on Facebook when I posted about Charismatics using an “Angel Board,” I also mentioned an ad about an “Enochian Angel Oracle” I received in the 90s. It’s actually a mass-mailer I received in mid-1998, and here are photos of the whole thing!

Angel Magic 2

Inside Pages #1

Effectively it claims to be a system for both divination and Angel Magic, offering the kinds of promises one finds with Prosperity preachers. To my mind, it’s a combination of the “spellcasting” ads we’d see in the Weekly World News back in the 80s, mixed with the fascination with angels that we saw in both the 80s and 90s, especially among Christians and New Agers. (You all remember shows like “Highway to Heaven” and “Touched by an Angel,” right?)

Angel Magic 3

Inside Pages #2

The ad also went out of it’s way to claim the Angel Oracle was “Designed by God,” a claim clearly intended to stave off the naysayers who might say this system “came from the devil.” Likewise the ad repeated claims of “Heaven on Earth,” likely hoping to appeal to the qualities of greed, selfishness, or desperation in whomever happened to view the ad.

Say what you want about the product, there’s no question the people behind it knew who they were marketing to!

Angel Magic 4

Inside Pages #3

It also claims the Enochian Language was the “original language of the Angels spoken by Adam and Eve in Eden.”

Angel Magic 5

Back Cover

I’ve always kept the ad because its premise is so over-the-top, and use it to bookmark my copy of Regardie’s Golden Dawn, that’s why this copy’s still in such good condition. I hope you find this as entertaining as I do!

POSTSCRIPT: I managed to find a copy on eBay not long ago, already sold but the images were still up. Do you want to see the full table of contents to The Scriptures of Angel Magic?

Here it is! If I ever get my hands on a copy of the real thing, I’ll make a point to post a full review on this blog!


Table of Contents #1


Table of Contents #2


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The Importance of Septuagesima and Why It Was Abolished

septuagesima season

As I write this, the season of Septuagesima (also called “Pre-Lent” or “Gesimatide”) is almost over. In fact, one week from now will be Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Quadragesima or Lent proper.

Some of you are doubtlessly asking “What the hell is this guy talking about?” Others may be thinking “I ask this about all your posts, anyway.”

What Is Septuagesima? Continue reading

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Can a Layperson Say Mass?


Occasionally, in the course of discussing grimoire magic, I’ll receive a question of whether a layperson can celebrate Mass (usually as a way of asking “to what extent can a lay magician work the Heptameron’s system?”). For example I was asked about this in my most recent Glitch Bottle interview, and a kind way of describing my response would be “incoherent discombobulated idiocy.”

I later found out there was a synchronicity happening at the selfsame moment that may have influenced that (my consecrator passed away as the interview was being recorded, and of course the emotionally-charged atmosphere of the 2018 midterm elections being the same day), but in any case what I said is still what I said. I retract nothing, and offer this post as a way of clarifying those thoughts I threw at the wall like a Jackson Pollack painting.

Can a Layperson Say Mass?

The short answer to this question is “Yes and No.”

Yes, in the sense there is nothing stopping a layperson Continue reading

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